On the way to class we stopped by the post office to pick up some stamps for work. The Eliminator and MrG waited in the car while PoMonkey went in to make the purchase. It was a cool but not cold Fall evening, so MrG opened the sunroof and cut off the engine while waiting. The Jeep was parked on the street in a “standing zone,” so the hazard lights were on, as was the radio. After 15 minutes or so, PoMonkey returned, and MrG turned the key to start the engine.
Click, click, click . . .
By the way the idiot lights in the instrument cluster dimmed, it looked like the battery might be dead.
It took about 30 minutes for a very nice gentleman from AAA to arrive, and another 30 or 40 minutes for him to diagnose a dead cell in the battery and swap it for one of the replacement batteries in the back of his pickup.
So we missed class.
Maybe Kirsten the Trainer will let us make up the missed class.
Stay tuned.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Overheard
When I was in DC there was a series of miscommunications that resulted in me having to wait for FastSigns to, well, make a sign. While waiting I got to spend about 20 minutes walking through The National Gallery of Art.
As I arrived, a group of high school kids was gathered in the lobby getting their assignment, which involved walking around, finding examples of various styles of art, and recording their thoughts.
I spent my sliver of time viewing an exhibition entitled “Crosscurrents: American and European Masterpieces from the Permanent Collection.”
At one point I heard one of the teachers explaining, “any painting that contains only one person is a portrait.”
Later, I heard a student who was standing in front of The Emperor exclaim, “man, every one of the paintings hanging in here is great!”
Uh, yeah.
As I arrived, a group of high school kids was gathered in the lobby getting their assignment, which involved walking around, finding examples of various styles of art, and recording their thoughts.
I spent my sliver of time viewing an exhibition entitled “Crosscurrents: American and European Masterpieces from the Permanent Collection.”
At one point I heard one of the teachers explaining, “any painting that contains only one person is a portrait.”
Later, I heard a student who was standing in front of The Emperor exclaim, “man, every one of the paintings hanging in here is great!”
Uh, yeah.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Obedience School, Week 2
Sorry this is late. As you may have heard, Mr. Ginger has been out of town (again).
As we pulled into the parking lot, we spotted the Vizsla dodging between cars, leash dragging along, human unit (possible hotel heiress) several steps behind. Once inside, Ms. Howard Johnson decided that rather than try harder, she would simply put the loop of the leash around her chair leg so that the canine could stray only so far.
This actually turned out to be fairly effective, as other attendees simply avoided what we might call her sphere of non-influence.
Within 20 minutes, Dominance Issues Duke had worked himself into such a froth that he literally frothed up his dinner. This led relatively quickly to the Shitzu following course. Later she “let it go” in the middle of the room, conveniently near the drain built into the middle of the floor. The Vizsla soon had a “go” too, but not near the drain. A mop was required.
Crazy dog seemed slightly less crazy tonight, at least until she spotted a cat on the other side of the glass wall of the training room. That’s right, one wall of the training room is glass, so that shoppers can look in on the goings on. While it might be great for selling people on the training classes, it does tend to hamper the actual training.
As for the evening’s lecture, it was kind of how-to dog-spa night. We learned about massaging our dog, brushing our dog’s teeth, and this unpleasantness.
Last week’s homework was to practice our praise phrase and “watch me.” Practicing the praise phrase involves repeating, in our case, “good girl,” while shoveling treats to the dog. We were told right up front that this would probably be the dog’s favorite training activity.
“Watch me” is similar, but it involves holding the treat near one’s own head and saying “watch me . . . watch me” before handing it over. This is some sort of attempt to get the canine to associate the term with gazing at the human head. Kirsten the trainer promises that it will be useful later.
Our in-class exercise was to perform the “watch me” in front of the group. The Eliminator did fine. Later, we had to trade canines with another human unit, perform “watch me,” and see how well the other dog did.
I ended up with Olive, who is just about twice The Eliminator’s weight. Most of the extra weight seems to be devoted to whatever muscle group powers tugging on the canine end of the leash.
This week’s homework: getting the dog to sit without saying the word. By holding a treat further and further over and towards the back of the dog’s head, the dog will eventually have to sit down. Ideally she will eventually associate the hand gesture with sitting and do it.
It really isn’t much of a problem getting The Eliminator to sit. Correctly assuming that sitting is basically the only command her human units know/understand, she sits whenever she wants something from us.
As we pulled into the parking lot, we spotted the Vizsla dodging between cars, leash dragging along, human unit (possible hotel heiress) several steps behind. Once inside, Ms. Howard Johnson decided that rather than try harder, she would simply put the loop of the leash around her chair leg so that the canine could stray only so far.
This actually turned out to be fairly effective, as other attendees simply avoided what we might call her sphere of non-influence.
Within 20 minutes, Dominance Issues Duke had worked himself into such a froth that he literally frothed up his dinner. This led relatively quickly to the Shitzu following course. Later she “let it go” in the middle of the room, conveniently near the drain built into the middle of the floor. The Vizsla soon had a “go” too, but not near the drain. A mop was required.
Crazy dog seemed slightly less crazy tonight, at least until she spotted a cat on the other side of the glass wall of the training room. That’s right, one wall of the training room is glass, so that shoppers can look in on the goings on. While it might be great for selling people on the training classes, it does tend to hamper the actual training.
As for the evening’s lecture, it was kind of how-to dog-spa night. We learned about massaging our dog, brushing our dog’s teeth, and this unpleasantness.
Last week’s homework was to practice our praise phrase and “watch me.” Practicing the praise phrase involves repeating, in our case, “good girl,” while shoveling treats to the dog. We were told right up front that this would probably be the dog’s favorite training activity.
“Watch me” is similar, but it involves holding the treat near one’s own head and saying “watch me . . . watch me” before handing it over. This is some sort of attempt to get the canine to associate the term with gazing at the human head. Kirsten the trainer promises that it will be useful later.
Our in-class exercise was to perform the “watch me” in front of the group. The Eliminator did fine. Later, we had to trade canines with another human unit, perform “watch me,” and see how well the other dog did.
I ended up with Olive, who is just about twice The Eliminator’s weight. Most of the extra weight seems to be devoted to whatever muscle group powers tugging on the canine end of the leash.
This week’s homework: getting the dog to sit without saying the word. By holding a treat further and further over and towards the back of the dog’s head, the dog will eventually have to sit down. Ideally she will eventually associate the hand gesture with sitting and do it.
It really isn’t much of a problem getting The Eliminator to sit. Correctly assuming that sitting is basically the only command her human units know/understand, she sits whenever she wants something from us.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Spotted
I may have mentioned that due to my trip to the District of Columbia, I missed some sleep. The truth is that I stayed up past 11:00 on Tuesday to watch Dickey on Letterman, because the last time I saw him on Letterman, it ended badly. (I didn’t know they patched things up a year ago.) I then slept very restlessly until 3:30, when I got up to get ready to head to the airport to catch the 7:00 am to DC. The long and short of it is that all day Wednesday I was operating on maybe 3 hours of sleep.
One of the curious side effects of this lack of sleep is that everywhere I went I thought I spotted famous people. At one airport, I thought I saw the first Mrs. Michael Jackson (not completely out of the realm of possibility). At the next airport, I thought I saw a man named Eli who lead a student group I was a part of in college (it was uncanny; I was a tad unnerved). On the Metro, I thought I saw Al Roker (OK, this one wasn’t that close). And at a hotel where I attended a meeting (but not where I’m staying), I thought I saw the mayor of New Orleans (actually, I’m pretty sure I actually did see him climbing into a black SUV outside of the Hyatt. Really. I’m not kidding.)
I didn’t remember until later that I had spent some time Tuesday on a favorite blog that had a couple of “recently spotted” posts (you know who you are, bird tare dog bone).
Lack of sleep does some funny things to my brain.
One of the curious side effects of this lack of sleep is that everywhere I went I thought I spotted famous people. At one airport, I thought I saw the first Mrs. Michael Jackson (not completely out of the realm of possibility). At the next airport, I thought I saw a man named Eli who lead a student group I was a part of in college (it was uncanny; I was a tad unnerved). On the Metro, I thought I saw Al Roker (OK, this one wasn’t that close). And at a hotel where I attended a meeting (but not where I’m staying), I thought I saw the mayor of New Orleans (actually, I’m pretty sure I actually did see him climbing into a black SUV outside of the Hyatt. Really. I’m not kidding.)
I didn’t remember until later that I had spent some time Tuesday on a favorite blog that had a couple of “recently spotted” posts (you know who you are, bird tare dog bone).
Lack of sleep does some funny things to my brain.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Obedience School
At 4:30 this morning I was up, showered, shaved, and dressed (even wearing a tie). That’s right faithful readers; I’m off to our nation’s capitol on the first flight of the day (more on that later).
So well before the butt-crack of dawn, I’m all dressed and ready, outside walking the dog, trying to remember what we decided our code word would be to encourage the dog to, well, do her business.
Having a ‘bathroom’ code word was one of the pieces of advice we received last night at our first obedience class.
There are five other dogs in our class. The cast of characters are:
The evidence for this is two fold: both dogs were at various times not only lying down quietly, but even laying on their backs for belly rubs. Second, they received the fewest treats. The dogs that were snarling and barking or responding to the snarling and barking got treats from the trainer to quiet them.
Our trainer is a young woman named Kirsten. She claims to have a small dog named Ella, but Ella wasn’t there. I’m not sure why I doubt that she even owns a dog, but I do.
As it turns out, the first night is all lecture, and it’s interesting to hear all of the conflicting dog advice. Someone mentioned that they heard a (somewhat) well-known dog trainer advise that you make your dog wait to eat until after you eat as a way to establish your dominance. I had heard the opposite: feed the dog first so he or she doesn’t beg for food while you eat. Kirsten the trainer said it doesn’t matter. I think we’ll keep feeding Bailey first.
Kirsten the trainer said that once your dog has peed and poo’ed you should go back inside. I heard that the dog will figure out that the fun of the walk ends when, well you know, and hold out as long as possible. Now I just don’t know.
At any rate, living in Chicago, Kirsten the trainer emphasized that in the dead of winter we will want to be able to get out and back in with the dog ASAP, and that having some key word or phrase that the dog associates with tinkling and doodling will be a welcome means of expediting the process. This I do not doubt. To make it work, whenever the canine [insert euphemism for uses the toilet], you say the word or phrase. Eventually the dog catches on (see Ivan Pavlov).
So last night PoMonkey and I discussed what word or phrase we might use. Kirsten the trainer had suggested “go potty,” the phrase she allegedly uses with Ella. (Again with the doubt. I just don’t know why.) Neither of us were huge fans of standing out in front of our condo building saying, “go potty.”
My take on this kind of thing is that it could literally be anything (dogs don't actually understand language), so I suggested the name of my new favorite TV show, Top Gear (which coincidentally has added a dog, known as Top Gear Dog, this season). We wisecracked through a few other options, but in the end, I told PoMonkey just to choose something and let me know.
4:30 am and I’m wracking my sleep-deprived brain trying to remember what she said. All I could come up with was eliminate, and for some reason I thought that I had to say it with my worst Governor of California impersonation – “You’re da eliminator and you must eliminate . . . ELIMINATE! ELIMINATOR!!”
On the way to the airport I related this story to PoMonkey, who reminds me that she chose the considerably less intense, let it go.
Ah, yes, let it go.
And so begins the adventure that is Obedience School. Seven more weeks to obedience bliss . . . Stay tuned.
So well before the butt-crack of dawn, I’m all dressed and ready, outside walking the dog, trying to remember what we decided our code word would be to encourage the dog to, well, do her business.
Having a ‘bathroom’ code word was one of the pieces of advice we received last night at our first obedience class.
There are five other dogs in our class. The cast of characters are:
- A male French bulldog named Duke who has "sharing and dominance issues." He was quite disruptive, growling and snarling at the other dogs all evening. He was an equal opportunity offender, pretty much snarling at every dog in the room. Interestingly, Duke’s human unit was the chattiest of the non-canines. I don’t know that there is any cause and effect, just an interesting correlation.
- A very small Shitzu whose name I cannot recall. She was well behaved when not being directly snarled at. She, like her human unit was pretty quiet.
- A young, energetic, and very friendly Vizsla, who was almost constantly pulling against her leash to go and meet/greet/play with the other dogs. In all honesty, her human unit didn’t seem to be trying all that hard. Imagine Paris Hilton with an untrained hound.
- A mutt whose human said upon entering the room, “I apologize in advance. My dog is crazy.” This was after our trainer had come in and asked us to all move to one end of the room because a dog who is very nervous around other dogs was on her way in. By the end of the night the dog was quite literally climbing the walls trying to get out of the training room.
- A pit bull mix named Olive (said her human, “because it’s my favorite food.” I don’t think this implies that she is considering eating her dog, but I’m not certain.) Olive was the only other dog accompanied by more than one human unit.
The evidence for this is two fold: both dogs were at various times not only lying down quietly, but even laying on their backs for belly rubs. Second, they received the fewest treats. The dogs that were snarling and barking or responding to the snarling and barking got treats from the trainer to quiet them.Our trainer is a young woman named Kirsten. She claims to have a small dog named Ella, but Ella wasn’t there. I’m not sure why I doubt that she even owns a dog, but I do.
As it turns out, the first night is all lecture, and it’s interesting to hear all of the conflicting dog advice. Someone mentioned that they heard a (somewhat) well-known dog trainer advise that you make your dog wait to eat until after you eat as a way to establish your dominance. I had heard the opposite: feed the dog first so he or she doesn’t beg for food while you eat. Kirsten the trainer said it doesn’t matter. I think we’ll keep feeding Bailey first.
Kirsten the trainer said that once your dog has peed and poo’ed you should go back inside. I heard that the dog will figure out that the fun of the walk ends when, well you know, and hold out as long as possible. Now I just don’t know.
At any rate, living in Chicago, Kirsten the trainer emphasized that in the dead of winter we will want to be able to get out and back in with the dog ASAP, and that having some key word or phrase that the dog associates with tinkling and doodling will be a welcome means of expediting the process. This I do not doubt. To make it work, whenever the canine [insert euphemism for uses the toilet], you say the word or phrase. Eventually the dog catches on (see Ivan Pavlov).
So last night PoMonkey and I discussed what word or phrase we might use. Kirsten the trainer had suggested “go potty,” the phrase she allegedly uses with Ella. (Again with the doubt. I just don’t know why.) Neither of us were huge fans of standing out in front of our condo building saying, “go potty.”
My take on this kind of thing is that it could literally be anything (dogs don't actually understand language), so I suggested the name of my new favorite TV show, Top Gear (which coincidentally has added a dog, known as Top Gear Dog, this season). We wisecracked through a few other options, but in the end, I told PoMonkey just to choose something and let me know.
4:30 am and I’m wracking my sleep-deprived brain trying to remember what she said. All I could come up with was eliminate, and for some reason I thought that I had to say it with my worst Governor of California impersonation – “You’re da eliminator and you must eliminate . . . ELIMINATE! ELIMINATOR!!”
On the way to the airport I related this story to PoMonkey, who reminds me that she chose the considerably less intense, let it go.
Ah, yes, let it go.
And so begins the adventure that is Obedience School. Seven more weeks to obedience bliss . . . Stay tuned.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
New Spleen Vent
Monday, October 08, 2007
How MrG Spent His Summer - September
September started off with a bit of car trouble. On the 3rd, one car decided that it simply could not run if MrG was not constantly pressing the gas. This makes stop and go traffic -- Chicago traffic -- nearly impossible to navigate. Two days later MrG drove it to the shop and it became apparent that the car changed its mind. This was fortunate as the service adviser at the shop said, “we don’t work on that model, they’re not well made, get rid of it, it’s a money pit.”
It’s currently running fine, but a likely candidate for a trade in for something smaller and better for city driving.
It’s currently running fine, but a likely candidate for a trade in for something smaller and better for city driving.
On the 4th, the other car managed to open some kind of hole in its exhaust system, making it sound like some kind of motorboat. This is appropriate seeing as how the car is really a land yacht.
In late September, MrG and PoMonkey went on a work-related road trip (in a rental car) to Louisville, KY. MrG had only passed through Louisville once before, but it’s not a bad place to go to a convention. Lots of hotel space near the convention center, and lots of off-site food and entertainment options.
MrG spent most of his September free time on a writing project. No, not this blog.
Friday, October 05, 2007
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
How MrG Spent His Summer - August
MrG and PoMonkey were fortunate enough to have several people travel to Chicago and see them in August. They got to do a bunch of the touristy stuff in Chicago—Signature Room in the Hancock, boat tour of the Chicago River and Lake Michigan, Navy Pier, Michigan Avenue shopping, and more. We went to a Cubs game and while they lost, the bus ride to and from Wrigley Field passed through one of the, um, more colorful neighborhoods in Chicago. Saw the Bourne Ultimatum and Wicked (reviews forthcoming). Work/travel wise, MrG infiltrated attended the YearlyKos convention, which was held here in the Windy City. On the Saturday of the convention he saw all of the leading democratic presidential candidates in person. And yes, her voice is the like that in person too.
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